Big Phil makes it happen + Monday chats

The big boys sure know how to throw a party, huh?

It was a little over 5pm on a calm Sunday evening. All was quiet; birds chirping quietly and fishes swimming noiselessly. It was turning out to be a quiet end to another uneventful day, as was the norm, but things were about to change. In the space of seconds, the atmosphere of the otherwise peaceful Oguta Lake Golf Course suddenly came alive as a convoy of cars sped in majestically. A party had begun, just like that. The roll call was impressive too, consisting of the crème de la crème of Futo, mostly Umuchima residents. Trust a slamming party; girls were in abundant supply, and so was the booze. At the center of the stage was Iheoma Ogbonna (PMT 400L) whose boyfriend, the onetime EEE DOS Ejiogu Philip (now graduated) had organized the event as a special birthday surprise for her. It worked, as she was all smiles throughout the day. The party rounded up at Kinky's Bar in Ikenegbu area of town, just beside Timasy. Interesting way to spend the evening, I must say, for the chronic socialites it was definitely an event that shouldn't have been missed. But before you say anything, let's do some ratings:

Organisation: 70% - Twas good generally, but sources say most guests for the 'surprise' were misinformed and got there too early. Imagine sitting and watching absolutely nothing do nothing. Boring! And then it's not everyone that made it to the after party at Kinky's.
Dress sense: 80% - Everyone looked good and ready to party. Some were exceptional, few could've done with a stylist appointment 2 hours to game time, lol. But the swag was definitely there.
Environment: 80% - Not sure how romantic Oguta Lake is, the only thing cute about it is its natural environment just by the lake, but Kinky's made up for it, though the dance area was observed to be quite small.
Drinks: 120% - What wasn't available? Um, soft drinks anyone?
Success Rating: 92% - I'm sure if every attendee was asked if they would love to do it over again, the answer would be a straight yes.

So Phil, big ups, man. I guess you and your crew have set the stage for more parties to spring up. And if you did this all for that honey at your side, she sure is damn lucky to have you.

In other news, it seems registration and fees payment in school's proving to be more hectic than usual. Is it just me or is everybody trying to collect a tip for services rendered? Haven't you been paid salaries? Leave us alone! Seriously, hasn't anyone actually looked into refining the system to make all these payments much easier to handle? To think some people are content to watch students suffer like this, kinda makes me wonder who actually is going to heaven, lol.

Plus, it looks like Eismann is already gearing up for the "love" season that soon will be upon us. Valentine's Day is still about 3 weeks away and there're already neon lights outside with a Val message. You had better have a couples night or something to entertain us oh!

Laterz peeps.

Saturday Blues...

This morning I did something I had never done in ages. Jogging. Trust me, I didn't get very far before I was panting heavily. I think I'll just stick with computers and video games.

With the absence of absolutely nothing else to talk about, lemme mention a new school landmark that got me thinking. Who knows what those observatory-like buildings just beside the new Chemical Engineering building are for? I have absolutely no idea what it is and what it's going to be used for. It's just like that SOHT building with a round section that had high voltage cables sticking out everywhere on the floor. I think the most unbelievable rumor I heard was that it was going to be used for large scale nuclear research and its health implications. I just thought it'd be a video game center, lol. So anyone with info about the observatories, could you let us know? Or you could just take a wild guess and be creative about it. And while you're at it, you could also guess what the new building just beside EVT's building beside Sunic is. So many besides, huh? Well live with it until their names come out.

Finally, I heard the school calendar is out. Havent scoured my usual channels for it because MTN decided I've been doing too much surfing, but I'll post it in my next post. Now find something creative to do today. Word has it there's no school for the next two weeks at least. And please, easy on the flexing. Me I'm going to study, and study hard. How many of you believe that?

Laterz.

THE GRADUATES IN BLACK....

Help! The suits are everywhere!!!

It's like there's a Bankers' Convention happening all week on campus. Everywhere I look, there's someone in a suit. And we're not just talking off-the-road-aba-made-suits here; we're talking some high classy fashion, glossy, trendy, well tailored, crisply finished suits. All walking over our beloved school. And they just keep getting better the more you look. It's as if everyone's trying to outshine each other in some sort of invisible competition.

Have no fear, we're not being invaded by aliens from Jupiter trying to disguise themselves and deciding that suits are best in concealing their laser zapper weapon thingies….it's just Project Time, that lovely time of the year where fresh graduates submit their "projects" for review and defense. A period that truly brings to an end all academic related activity on campus and heralds the "hustling" final moments, trying to get your result correct and making sure your name does appear in that convocation booklet with the right degree beside it. I love Project Time (as I have aptly coined it) because everybody now looks smart and "responsible", really cool to see. It's like the consciences in everyone just decide to bare itself in the open. Everyone appears good, trustworthy, from the same background bordered on good ethics and human values. Pity it isn't all true, but what can we say? All fingers are not equal. But you know what's really funny? Being approached by a "Clear Bag" (my own cool name for Jambites) and being asked if FUTO has a dress code. Yes folks, one dude I was trying to help give instructions on where to pay his fees at SOSC did ask me that. I almost fell over laughing.

Anyway, some School gist, and it's all about dates. Classes start next month (WHY!!!! I'm bored already!!!) Matric is on the 27th of next month (after Valentine's? WHY!!!) and Convocation's on the 6th of March (dunno why I'm complaining, but WHY!!!). Valentine's on the 14th of next month (the biggest WHYYYY!!!!!!) and the new Petroleum Building beside Workshop 2 currently in construction for about 4years now will be completed this year (blatant lie as always, WHY!!!!!). A proposal that may see Keke Napeps become "the" mode of transportation on campus may be discussed next week (do I have to ask WHYYYY!!!!?) and 400L EEE's outstanding practicals, along with this surprisingly harsh harmattan weather, may never end (WHYYYYYYYY!!!!!!) lol! Ok, maybe I went a wee bit too far on the last ones. But it's good to know campus is slowly shifting into cruise gear. Even fellowships are starting up. I heard LivingWord's already off the block. If their successful Worship Service last semester is anything to go by, this group should be watched out for this year. And I hope the near adds new varieties to already routine stuff. Like praying that HOD finally adds some new electives to his courses besides the usual and all too familiar groundnuts. But he does a great job. I think he should personally be recognized by the SUG and school administration and offered a better vantage area in which to set up shop. Like the podium at love garden. Ok I'm just kidding, but do you know how many relationships he must've helped save? And that glorious scent that could cause a student just off an okada at bike park but already late for a test in SAAT to pause and demand 3 extra units? He should be considered a FUTO legend and a great asset to our community! He's a perfect example of how the real HODs should be running their departments, not sitting in their offices and allowing documents that affect the lives of students remain in the secretary's IN basket for weeks. Maybe Afrihub could stop making us have to cough out 5k for extremely pointless computer classes and come up with an effective computer based solution to that problem. Wouldn't it be nice if an email accompanied any hardcopy correspondence from another department? I don't think they'd be able to ignore those. Bottom line? We love our school, but we acknowledge the fact that there is lots of room for improvement. It's a new year, why don't we try and see how we could start making those dreams possible? Think about it.

On a signoff note, a tweak to this blog has been fixed and you can now leave your comments without needing be registered. So keep the comments coming, let's hear what you have to say. And is it just normal school resumption ginger or did PHCN make a new year resolution they're trying really hard to keep?

Laterz.

Monday Rains + Lodge Gist

And a very pleasant rainy morning to all of you.

Rain has been the main issue throughout the weekend, but it's not like we're complaining, are we? At least it's a welcome adjustment to the otherwise hot weather as we always know FUTO for. So we're looking at puddles of water and light showers all day, with temperatures still hovering over 45 degrees crazy heat, as usual, lol.

Believe it or not, I still haven't set my foot up school, and I've spent a good five days already. Don't worry, I'll remedy that today, so maybe there'll be an update of what school feels like, or you could just read up on that in tomorrow's post. But obviously, accommodation runs have been the order of the day ever since, and reports are suggesting rent rates are actually going up this time. Bummer, huh? And here we are, not even finished from rejoicing that school fees are stable for once. Doesn't really matter though, the rush is still on, and new lodges are being sapped up like they're fresh girlfriends. So for all y'all still searching, hold your 60k-90k ready just in case. I think the most expensive lodges still remain the same – Parliament in Eziobodo, Executive Suites 2 in Ihiagwa, and Arusi in Umuchima. Why Executive Suites is still that expensive, I honestly do not know Word on the street is that their tenants are unhappy with the services provided while still demanding such a high rent fee, so do not be surprised to see a mass exodus from there this semester. Maybe they could relocate to that new lodge opposite Ofe's Restaurant, Umuchima. I hear the lodge has its own transformer, bigger rooms and metal doors, yet goes for 48k. You have to be careful though, when I checked out the lodge, the finishing was so terrible that it looked like the vibrations from a 2KVA generator could crumble its foundations.

Looks like parties have started springing up. Trust Futoites, never a dull moment. Eismann Fries is set to be on fire this evening and it's an open door event, so that's somewhere you may wanna be. Besides, shayo plenty, but hold cash oh! At least I warned you. Pioneer is always on heat, and I hear there's gonna be a surprise addition to their repertoire this year, so watch out, ladies.
Aite lemme get outta here. Gotta go to school for the first time this year. Maybe grab me an unsuspecting Jambite and help out with accommodation with ulterior motives on my mind, lol. Later folks.

Back to School, Finally!

Well, well, well back to school!
Came in under tight covert security last night, so sorry I couldn't blog yesterday cos I was on the road all day. Anyway it's good to be back, and was greeted most graciously by rain. Wasn't that powerful, and was immensely welcome, cos the weather was so hot before it hit.

So this is where it all really begins. I'm back on campus, so you can expect regular news, gist, gossip and notifications from the four corners of the campus. Nothing worth noting goes unnoticed by me, so always be rest assured that I'm on top of everything you need to know. Check back daily, folks, there's always something new every day!

Right now I gotta raid my kitchen. I'm damn hungry! Laterz…

With Love from Saudi Arabia.

Mornin'! Ok, so with this whole Presido uncertainty it's getting quite difficult to ignore the goings on in government. We all know the story, nobody is exactly sure what's really up with our president We've heard so many conflicting stories from different sources that we're not sure of what to believe anymore. And frankly, you cant blame us. Since the FG is apparently being so guarded as regards to information concerning our supposed head, they shouldn't blame us for whatever we think has happened to him. After all, it's been 50 days since he'd been in the country.

So what has really happened to him anyway? The Online American Chronicle which, with one publication, managed to turn the whole country and Facebook Naija upside down, claimed that he died since December 10th, and that his powerful wife is keeping it under wraps. If true, well, bummer. Women! Lol. Anyway, I was quite surprised the way the news spread like wildfire. And it was so powerful and so believable that the FG finally had to move to condemn it. Not surprisingly, the website pulled the article off. But the damage had already been done. But the reaction to that article is what interests me. Pardon me, but it seems like all Nigerians are just waiting to hear he's dead. Not that he's recovering, but dead. It's possible that everyone has resigned to the fact that they don't expect him to make it off that hospital bed. And why would he? He looks frailer than my grandma. And forget, that woman is old, lol. In fact, if he does miraculously make it out, I'd be really surprised. Not that I wish he'd died, but evidence points to the fact that he's simply too ill to meet the demands of the office of the president. Another question is: What does the government stand to gain by keeping his whereabouts and the details of his health secret? I mean, Farouk has dumped us on the terrorist list and we don't have a president to respond on our behalf. And they sit there and they're happy? It's really absurd. And then to add insult to injury, the BBC claims to be in contact with him and they have a telephone interview as proof. Holy Crap! Do they think we're that stupid? Is it that hard to imitate the president that the interview should be viewed as authentic? Even the dude who did the intro skit in MI's Talk About It album sounded more like Yar'Adua. Honestly I don't blame BBC, it obviously came from a supposedly credible source. But that on its own is not enough to quell our fears. What we demand, like the AC said, is a dated video presidential address. That is the best evidence we could receive without any more doubt. Anything other than that is still playing on our intelligence.
Also, has anybody wondered why the "real" news stations like CNN and Sky have not said a single thing about this whole fiasco? I mean, the president of Africa's most populous nation is missing, Nigerians are formulating wild conspiracy theories, and they're not interested? Do we have to strap him into a jet and blow up the white house for them to notice? In my opinion, they are either bloody hypocrites or they've been paid to shut up. I've been told that kinda deal still takes place.

Whatever the case may be, this whole drama has gone on long enough and it's high time an end is put to it. It's either the man and his wife and cohorts admit he cannot keep running the country by remote and transfer power to Goodluck, or FG comes out with it and tell us exactly what's going on so at least we'll be informed. That is what we want.

School Fees Schedule + SUG promises.

Hi y'all

Sorry for the absence of posts for a while. Been in the hospital for quite some time now, and blogging from my phone was pissing the cute nurse off. Nothing like getting on a cute nurse's bad side, lol. You definitely do not get her number. Anyway before you all start worrying, I'm perfectly fine, just having my routine medical checkup. I usually have it at the beginning of the year, get all the trash from last year outta my system and reboot, like a pc, lol.

So what's been going on? Heard school's days away from opening and the fees schedule is already out. Who no like money, eh? Anywayz, it's great to know that Farouk's antics haven't had an adverse effect on our fees, we're gonna pay the same as we did last year. It's either that or the new SUG President and his League of 'Xtraordinary Gentlemen (yeah right) are much tougher than I thought. Hope it's the latter though, maybe some real decisions that affect our everyday lives on campus would start being taken seriously. So anyway, back to the fees. Our dearest Jambites are gonna be coughing out about 40gs (It varies depending on what department you're thrown into, mind…). 200s and 300s are still within the 20gs – 30gs range, while 4s & 5s are parting with about 23gs. Also, hostel fees remain at 8k. For all y'all looking to make a quick buck on hostel sales, you can mail me for some fast "fees inflation" tips, lol. Still not bad compared to the private universities, but then again, private universities don't experience academic disruptions the way we do, so I guess either of them has its advantages depending on which angle you wanna look at it.

Well back to the SUG. Apparently their mouths are open and the usual promises are flowing out. You can interpret the non-increase of school fees in any way, but for the SUG to start taking credit for it may actually be sliding them into a tricky situation. If they expect us to believe they were responsible for that, then they should know it'd be safe for us to assume they are ready to deliver on all the promises they've already made. The question is: Are they ready to deliver?
Let's go over what they're promising. An additional generator for the hostel? Hmm, not bad. That would actually be most welcome, as long as they can keep em running properly. Cos I just cant understand why power was being rationed at the end of semester. Hostel C would have light while Hostel D wouldn't. And vice versa. Is the current generator getting too old? And aren't we a technology institute? Why hasn't anyone invested in finding an alternate power generating source? Or at least troubleshoot and fix the generator. And DSTV in the common rooms? As if we do not have enough distractions already. Why don't they put those funds into better use? Like maybe beautifying the hostel yards and maybe providing extra internet facilities to augment the services provided at Afrihub (is that still working?). I mean, everyone has a laptop now, with enough Desperate Housewives and 24 Seasons to keep us occupied till Christ comes. What would we do with a television, a decoder and one remote that everyone would fight over? Besides, have they thought of the expenses incurred in renewing the subscription everytime?

What else? FUTO – Ihiagwa road. Honestly, we are a bit tired of hearing the road is finally going to be fixed. I've been hearing that since my first year. So frankly I'm not surprised to hear it again. I'm just waiting for the set of excos that would finally match their words with action. That such an important endeavor has taken this long to materialize is totally beyond me. I mean, even the FG acknowledges that good roads are a prerequisite for quick development. We don't need to say it again, STOP POURING SAND AND FIX THAT ROAD!!! At least let's know that our school fees are actually doing somethin'.
Speaking of roads, would you prefer Kekes to take over the Okadas as regards to transportation on campus? Lemme know what you think in your comments. I'll probably dedicate a whole blog post to that topic laterz.

Anyhow, gotta run. She's looking at me again, with a curt smile across her lips. Might be a green light…..hehe.
Laterz.

Boredom is a Killer + Jambite Info

Hey readers. How's your hols coming to an end?

Absolutely nothing going on at my end. Sure I picked a few injuries while trying to bite my nails with my teeth, but other than that, I'm peachy, thank you. Bottom line? It's so boring here, can't wait to get back to school. For real.

On to some FUTO gist. For our brand new "jambites", clearance is expected to start by the 15th, that's like next week Friday, so start getting ready to pay outrageous fees and stand in long queues. All part of the learning process, I guess. I can still remember my first days in school. I was a smart kid, got someone to do my clearance for me. Can't imagine aje butter like me going through all that stress under blinding hot FUTO sun, lol. Aint good for my colour. Anyway, if you're the lucky type, maybe one maga with chyking intentions would be foolish enough to help you out, or that sweet church sister who's just trying to woo you into attending her fellowship. Either way, get ready, for your hustling for the next five years starts NOW!

Gotta go folks, need to determine how long it'll take to drown myself. Anything to get away from this boredom. See you tomorrow, hopefully. Lol!

Homebound + Futo Returnees

Hi y'all.
Sorry bout not leaving a post yesterday, I spent the whole day on the road. Holidays are finally over, and I, along with most of you, did have to "return to base" as they say. So how was the ride? Pretty smooth, although the car's clutch kept misbehaving at irregular intervals, as if it deliberately planned it. Imagine approaching a police checkpoint and having trouble bringing the car to a stop. Embarrassing, really. And speaking of checkpoints, I do believe it's a lot easier to get away from FRSC checkpoints than the normal "egunje collectors" I mean, my drivers' license was a fake photoedited (not to mention laminated, not plastic) color copy, and it passed right under their nose. This effectively means I can choose never to renew the license, just keep extending the expiry dates on subsequent copies. Lol, saves me about 10k, I think. And wats more? I was asked "if" my extinguisher was in the boot, not that he wanted to check. Trust me, I aint no smoker, so why do I need an extinguisher. But the boot was full to the brim with luggage, so I cheekily affirmed that it was there, but it was buried under so much luggage that he may have a hard time finding it. As expected, the young officer was in no mood to help me unpack (lol) so he sent me on my way. Talk about "maneuvering" your way outta a tight spot, lol! After that, though, the journey home was quite uneventful, save for that pesky clutch, so here I am, home base! Now just to clean up my act and get back to school next week.

Ok, some FUTO gist. Students are already coming back (hmm, what happened to my resumption date analysis in the last post, eh?). Not surprising, as final ye…whoops!....graduates are still expected to work on and defend their projects within the coming weeks. Remember the staff quarters estate (lol!) being built just after Futo's back gate? Apparently they are almost completed. With the speed at which they were built my guess is that some lecturers might have been housing their families inside the Senate Building and VC wanted them out as soon as possible. I dunno, but is it only me that feels this man is trying to prove a point? I mean, what about the embezzlement allegations that were rumored during the strike? Did the lecturers eventually get paid or is he pacifying them by building homes for them on campus? Whatever the case, those quarters are really welcome, I heard some lecturers actually share hostels with students, especially in Eziobodo. Figures, right?
OK, that's about it. I got a stinky smelling room to attend to. And laundry. Yes, l said it, LAUNDRY!!!! Lol.

Have a great day folks.

Today’s Saturday? Really???

Ever have this feeling that all consciousness of time flies outta the window when you’re on holidays? It’s really silly, but funnily enough, it happens all the time. Woke up this morning and since my phone was off, I couldn’t confidently guess what day of the week it was. So I took a guess. Tuesday. I mean, it looked like a Tuesday, perfect day for a Workshop 2 Practical, then off to Sunic to chill out and mope at the supposedly ‘HOT’ SEET guys treating them ‘gurls’ good(?). Then off to another boring class up at Automobile Workshop, maybe go hunt for that guy in SMAT and give her another reason to say yes. Oh! I’m at SMAT, quick okada to Diamond Bank to reload my wallet perhaps? Maybe flirt quietly at that male cashier that’s always giving me eye whenever I’m around, lol. Then to confirm, I go downstairs and ask the first person I see.

Me: Mornin’! um, what’s today?
Cousin: Saturday
Me: Get outta here
Cousin: For real, I’m serious.
Me: Dang!

And the whole vision changes, Now I’m reasoning sleeping in, waking up to catch up on the latest gist wiv friends, doing my laundry, sleep, search for food, sleep, go watch Arsenal get smashed again by the Devils (don’t you just love it when that happens?), sleep again, maybe go hunt for that babe in E-Suites 2 and give her another reason to say yes, chill out in Pioneer with my peeps and beer, take my evening ritual of Yummie’s “Shai” with cold Sprite, then maybe a midnyt call just to give her yet another reason, lol.

So yeah, that’s typical FUTO, right? Maybe, maybe not. Either way, it’s Saturday, and I still gotta get something to eat. So what y’all propose? Indomie and eggs? Or should I take command of the kitchen and cook up a storm?

Speaking of FUTO, word on the street is we’re opening second week. I’m sure the actual date is different depending on the type of student you really are. For the flexers, it actually means first week, lol. For the less academic, maybe beginning of February; for those hoping to avoid that particular day in February wey girls dey worry (lol) – maybe February’s third week. For those who haven’t realized FUTO is an “academic” environment, maybe March. And finally, for the businessmen…wait for it…after exams, lol! Whatever your case is, it’s obvious by the beginning of February over 60% (I do hope I’m right) of the student population will be back, many with altered residencies. Imagine, you’ll haveta start retracking that your babe who’s moved from D208 to C305, start moving your belongings to new off campus hostels, go roommate hunting and trying to be more careful in order to avoid stab-worthy roomies (lol).

Also, this New Year will witness the return of our “prodigal” IT sons and daughters with their wahala. Shun, I’ve missed most of them (emphasis on “most”) and it’s always real cool in the first semester cos school is always fuller. Makes babe hunting easier, don’t you think? Lol. And besides, enough IT money to go around, eh? Chow them while they’re fresh!!! We’ll also welcome the new “Jambites”, cool guys and babes, most with no university experience whatsoever (wink!!!!). Eismann, Sunic and Ofe’s will undoubtedly be full these opening days, lol.

Wow, it’d be good to be back. After those four months of total academic inactivity where Sam Egwu and ASUU thought they should get to know each other better, it’s almost like I haven’t gotten enough of school yet. I’m looking forward to all the intrigues, hot gist, breakups, makeups, concerts, grooves, freshers (if departments won’t disappoint this time, Petroleum practically did theirs on the last day of last year, wassup with that?), SUG-Senate tantrums, new buildings, stinky hostels….yeah!

Bring it on!!!