Futo’s Very own “Brothel”!!!

Ok, I know this title’s a little bit demeaning, but first hear what I have to say….

Ok, so as I’m walking down Umuchima main road for a breath of fresh air, I stop to get some credit for my phone. And while fishing in my jeans for some change, a stranger engages the credit lady in a conversation, trying to find the best place to lodge for the night, as she expected to travel further to her destination. As the credit lady (the name seems aptly appropriate, forgive me, lol) racks her brain trying to find a solution, I add in with all honesty “Why don’t you try Jives that’s just down the road? And if you see the eye the credit lady gave me and immediately warned the stranger against staying there. I’m relatively surprised and ask the credit lady to tell me what exactly is wrong with Jives. And she proceeds to tell me some funny things she knows is happening at that place. I thank her and continue my walk, thinking furiously and devising a plan to get to the root of this new development.

At about 9:30pm, I step into Jives, “exclusively” clad from head to toe but still skimpy enough to suggest I was looking for some “quick” relief action if need be. I order a soft beer and lounge around outside. Being who I am, I didn’t think I might be in any danger, until one girl walks up, pulls up a chair and tries engaging me in a conversation. I reply politely and keep the convo going until her friend also shows up and pulls up a chair. Then I swear the craziest thing happened: a hand slowly but assuredly starts sliding up my right thigh. I react immediately and the move gives away my awareness to what is going on. As if on cue, the conversation rapidly changes to demands for a quickie between the three of us. Here I am being told how hot I was looking and how they’d rip me apart with pleasure if I’d let them. I already had my proof that the credit lady was actually not joking, but needed to see exactly how far this may go without getting outta hand. So I tell them I do strictly men and asked if there were any hot takers around here. They whisper a little and keep pointing here and there at potential targets. I ask them how it all works and their description aint any different from the real “sex places” out there. At this moment I decide it’s high time I skipped away, so I point at the farthest man from me, nd demand for him. The two girls ask me not to go anywhere as they go deliver my request but who am I kiddin’? I packed up my stuff and swept away before they’d come back. And in my hurry to leave, I forget to pay for the drink I downed.

Back at home I ponder a whole lot about somewhere that started as an interesting business prospect with a lot of attractions. Jives had a relatively big hall which could be used for different events, restaurant facilities, and an at least manageable accommodation. What exactly happened to get it to this state? Bad management? Is someone swearing for the owner? Or is this the new line of business the owner is ready to explore? Why doesn’t he reason like the dude who owns Icebox suites who has decided to turn it into a hospital. But either way, he should know that his establishment is already getting a bad name amongst most of its customers. I’m already begginning to hear a lotta snide comments about that place. My question is, what do you think could be done about it?

The Rise and Rise of Languages….

Hey chaps! Hope Monday sees you well, but I guess most of you, especially the first years in SOSC and related faculties have already been greeted with a rude shock…

Yep, it’s real. French and Igbo languages have been added to the aforementioned schools’ curriculum in place of Engineering Drawing, which has been sacrificed. In a Technology college? They might just cordon off those faculties and call it an Evan Enwerem University Extension! Amazing! Didn’t we have enough of these languages in secondary school? Or has some bigshot wiseguy politician decided that his ward needs to have less to worry about than carry engineering boards around? I must confess, when I heard a rumor about this change during the holidays, I obviously did not believe it. It sounded like a huge joke, but now it’s probably a nightmare. And believe me, from initial responses from most students, it’s obvious that boys are not smiling. On the comic side of things, I’m just wondering how those guys who used engineering drawing assignments as a method to get close to their “prey” would cope. They’d have to completely revamp their strategy, I think. But how? I’d give you one tip: Learn French, it’s supposed to be the language of love. The only snag is you’d probably have to teach the babe too, lol!

Anyway, lectures are in a hectic full swing right now and the campus is finally abuzz with activities, which is good to see. And it’s also particularly gratifying to welcome the new completed buildings (and the uncompleted ones too). I guess BCH peeps would be smiling long and hard at their new building which has a surprising unique entrance. Well done indeed, VC. EVT students may have to wait an extra semester or two before their building gets done though, although it seems to be taking shape fairly quickly. And could somebody tell me what those buildings on your way outta school through the back gate are for? Cos I’ve asked around and everybody seems to be oblivious to the fact that there are building projects going on there. Maybe cos of the new road, everyone’s just flying past.

Talking about the road, I think some form of safety precautions should be implemented as soon as possible. Accidents have already started occuring as predicted. I think speed bumps are in order, though they ought to have been built when the reconstruction was going on, not long after. We want to get to our lecture halls not just on time, but also in one piece, thank you very much. It’d be sheer madness if a road that we’ve been expecting for so long suddenly turns from a blessing to a curse.

Finally, am I the only one who’s noticed the constant rise in the Acceptance fee?

Laterz….

Hall Of Mercy or NYSC Camp?

Hey y’all…

Lemme get this straight first of all, what’s with the insistence of lemon green and orange for NYSC colours? Orange? Couldn’t they find something better?

Well that was what Futoites were treated to on Monday and Tuesday, as the voters registration volunteer thingy was going on at the Hall of Mercy. It was a sea of corps members, all milling around the place like students waiting for a joint lecture. And it was really funny seeing them bolt into both Halls when the “invigilators” (lol!) were ready for them. And not to sound degrading, but all this rush for what? A couple of ten thousand bucks? Oh well….over to you, Jonathan.

Apparently, from the official school calendar, we ought to be in our fourth week of lectures, and some departments have actually started lectures. So beware, cos the word on the street is that attendance is being taken seriously in order to drive all y’all holidayers out of home and back to where you belong. It’ll be interesting to see how the calendar pans out considering the fact that we have a couple of breaks and that little spot o’ bother called election sometime in April. Will we be too fast and finish before then? Or will they take us for a joyride and ask us to come back after the elections (when our brains have obviously lost their lustre) for exams? Trust Futo na, lol.

Ok, let’s face off campus. Could someone please tell the owners of shops in Ihiagwa and Umuchima that they do not have to wait until somebody dies before they decide to open up for the new year? Everywhere is still closed and this is the 11th day of the new year! Haba! And what’s with particular kinds of food stuff being scarce? Onions are hyper expensive and you can’t even find the rest. Imagine I went out today and searched the whole of Ihiagwa market square but I couldn’t find an egg to buy. Really!

And then it looks like Landlords are really outdoing themselves to get new customers for the new year. Old lodges are wearing new looks, like Solutions lodge which has a new coat of paint, and Phagdan Hostel, whose name has even been changed to Access Lodge (hope I’m correct?). And since Umuchima has been pitied finally and electricity has been restored, it looks like it may just have been saved from the mass exodus that was planned by the student population earlier. That is depending on if most haven’t left already. It’d be a big shame to see thriving lodge businesses go under, but the electricity issue is really something that ought to have been fixed a long time ago. So I guess they’ll just have to deal with it.

So, anything I’m missing? Hmm if there is it’ll have to wait till tomorrow. I got a 10am lecture and this final year ain’t beans. In fact it’s my new year resolution not to miss any of my lectures. Oops! Missed one yesterday! Oh well…

Later peepz!

Happy New Year Folks….School Year, that is…

Hey peeps! Happy New Year! So who missed me? And none of you even called! No fair!

Well for those of you who have been genuinely concerned, I’ve been outta touch for quite a while. Unfortunately I can’t tell you why, but all I’d mention is that it “had” something to do with my health. Don’t worry, I’m perfectly fine now, and locked and loaded for the New School Year. Remember, it’s all about hot gist emanating from different corners of the FUTO, reported just the way I see it and in my own opinion. So if you don’t like it, I suggest you take it up with my sponsors, lol.

Well, I just breezed into school over the weekend, and I must say the harmattan winds really gave me a chilly welcome. Weather reports confirm that they’d be around for awhile, so I’d suggest you come with your mufflers and duvets, cos it’s gonna be a cold January. Maybe a hot flask would do wonders too. And there’s a loooooooong surprise waiting for those of you who haven’t been to school in a while, especially those coming into school from Ihiagwa back gate. Won’t tell you what it is, but I’d tell you it’s something most students have been waiting for a very long time but never ever expected it to finally arrive. Think you already know what I’m talking about? Come to school and see for yourself….wink!

The environs are still drier than the humid weather. Shops are not open, even though students can be seen trooping in with their luggages and frowning faces (lol, y?). But there’s good news for residents in some parts of Umuchima. There’re two new transformers located in different parts that are now supplying good stable electricity. So I guess the lodge landlords have something to smile about, as business would probably sneak back up this year. The popular areas are Onyia Towers area, and also Legacy Suites, notoriously known not to have had light for over 3 years.

Nothing much else to report, I’m still shifting through my news sources, which are plenty, since I’ve been gone this long. And please pardon me if you do not have daily updates yet, I’m still trying to tweak this my BB (Yeah, just had to get one, sigh, lol) to perform exactly as I want it, and that may take some time, since I’m not that gadget crazy. But here’s to a fruitful new year to all my readers, I hope to keep you entertained as much as possible with this my totally pointless opinions about school happenings as they happen, but for now, lemme keep twiddling with this twitter thingy….anybody got a manual?

Laterz.